Why The Technical Staff Doesn’t Respond To Your Requests

We’ve all been there in one time or another. We ask for something important and either we don’t get it or we get it way too late.

Why do they do that? Is it because they are inconsiderate jerks who just don’t get it? Maybe.

But maybe there are other, more plausible, reasons. Let’s look at one possible scenario.

They’d Rather Swim in Razorblades Than Do What You Asked Them To Do

I probably get more enjoyment out of writing proposals than most people in this world. For those other people, it’s right up there with eating live kittens (not something someone in their right mind would really do unless they absolutely had to).

So, you are wondering why they haven’t eaten that kitten yet. I mean, they were supposed to eat it last Thursday and now it’s Tuesday. It’s not like that kitten is gonna eat itself. So, what are they waiting for? Don’t they realize you are on a deadline?

And plus, they should know how to eat kittens by now. They’ve been in this business for 20 years.

Unfortunately, no matter how many kittens you wrestle into your mouth, chew up, and swallow…it never gets enjoyable. It’s never fun.

They know that kitten is on their desk (probably playing with a ball of yarn). But if they ignore it, maybe it will find its way out of the building. Heck, they’ll even do billable work (yes, the work they wish someday to escape) just to avoid devouring that kitten.

The Truly Horrible, Yet Effective, Solution

So, how do you get them to eat the kitten? You are not going to like the answer, but it works. You eat the head yourself. Yes, I said that.

We all know the hardest part of any kitten to eat is its head. If you eat the head for them, it will be much easier for that technical staff member to gobble down the rest.

That’s why I started drafting technical approaches. Yeah, it sucks. But it is much easier for them to correct my draft (and tell me how much of an idiot I am) than to start from a blank screen.

It’s much easier to record one of their presentations and have it transcribed than ask them to write a blog post.

I like to call this “giving them a head start.” Now you know where that phrase came from. 🙂

In a perfect world, everybody would “do their job.” Everyone would “get it.” Everyone would “give a sh*t.”

But keep in mind, in a perfect world, you would never send someone an email asking them to eat a kitten. Yet, that’s what you do.

Key Takeaway: If you want someone to do something they hate doing, give them a head start by doing the hardest part for them.

P.S. Before you send that hate mail, realize I have not eaten any animal, let alone a kitten, in over 20 years. I’m one of those wackos who can’t see the obvious difference between a kitten and a calf or piglet. :p